A huge change in plans

When I first decided to make this bucket list, I had a real sense of urgency in getting it done.  There were certain things that needed to be done at certain times, or they couldn't be done at all (Mardi Gras, Clemson Triathlon.....things like that.)  I made often spontaneous decisions to do things so they would get done in the timeframe I needed, and lucky for me, I am not a big planner, so it wasn't that big a deal to pack up in the middle of the night and head out of town the next day.

This week has been a great example to me about why I don't get stressed out making plans too far in advance.  If you had asked me last week what I was doing this week, the answer would have been cupcakes to Jack's class Monday, a few swim/run bricks, and at least one outdoor bike. Two of my best friends had birthdays this week that I wanted to celebrate.  I had some goals I wanted to do, but nothing set in stone time or day wise.

Instead it has been this: hospital ER Saturday night, back Monday morning, and there almost non-stop ever since.  The mornings blur into days, which blur into night, and I am not sure what day of the week it even is.  My baby is sick, and my biggest "to do" on my bucket list now is to get her out of pain, and get her home. 

It has been a huge emotional roller coaster- extreme highs when she seems to be responding to medications, and extreme lows when she is in a lot of pain, or has to endure painful procedures or surgery.  There has not been a lot of time to worry about me, but I wouldn't want to anyway.  My main job on this earth is to be a mother to these great kids, take care and protect them, teach them and nurture them.

I have gotten to see how tough my baby is- and hopefully at least part of this is becaused she has been raised to be flexible and to go with the flow.  She is also humble, as she told me the other day she couldn't believe how sweet everyone was being to her.  Every time I tell her someone else has asked about her or said a prayer for her she seems surprised and grateful.  She has handled this whole situation so much better than I would expect any 7 year old to handle it.

My friends and family have been amazing as well- I haven't worried one time about the other kids, as arrangements are being made for them for me. They are spending time with people that they love and trust as well, which takes a huge burden off of me as well.  It has shown me that others are flexible too- and can fit my kids and their needs into their plans just as easily.

That being said, I am not sure when we will get to go home.  Like a bad cliche from a Paula Abdul song, we seem to take two steps forward, one step back.  We will have a great afternoon, and a crappy night. We had a good night last night, so I am not too optimistic about today.  I am trying not to focus on the day we go home, but rather on hitting the milestones that bring us closer to going home. We are not taking it day by day, but rather hour by hour at this point.

Sorry for the rambling.....if you were expecting a lighthearted post, I apologize.  I don't have it in my this week.

I am however add one more thing to my bucketlist:

41. Bring my girl home from the hospital by Mother’s Day.

Clemson modified

23. Take my girls kids to the “Take your daughter to Clemson” weekend visit Clemson.

 For those of you who read my last post and made suggestions, thank you.  I was so upset that I wasn't going to be able to cross of #22 this year and I couldn't see past this disappointment.  When several of you suggested I "make my own" weekend, I thought it was a great idea!  In fact, I thought it was so great, I packed up the kids and took off for Clemson the very next day! I tend to be a bit on the spontaneous side (read- don't always think things through) and I thought, no better time than the present!

I got on the Clemson website, signed up for a tour, checked out baseball game times, and cleaned out the car.  We charged the DSs, and went to bed early.

So, Wednesday morning of Spring Break, we got up, got dressed, and hopped in the car for the 2 hour drive.  I didn't tell the kids where we were going, but they were excited anyway because they knew that we were getting out of the house. 

On the way there I called my friend Julie (who went to Clemson with me) and asked her if she wanted to meet me there.  Luckily for me she homeschools her kids, and meeting me at the botanical gardens there could easily fit into her school day.  All of the flowers were in bloom, and there was some kind of kid's program going on that day.

We arrived at the botanical gardens, and went looking for the program.  As we were walking through I thought to myself, "Four years here and I never saw these beautiful gardens?"  I remember getting pictures taken by the caboose at the entrance for a scavenger hunt, but I never remember walking through the gardens.  It was beautiful.  Julie and her boys arrived and we followed a map to the "program."  We didn't stay long there (the "program" turned out to be a children's storytime in the garden) but we did find the children's area where there were food plants, a butterfly garden, and many herbs and flowers. We followed around an older lady who seemed to be able to identify everything there, and hopefully she told us the right names to the plants :)  We even found the caboose!!!

Then it was time to take our tour.  I had called the day before to ask if the tour was only for prospective students, or if anyone could take it.  They assured me that it was open to the general public.  We showed up at the Visitor's Center to start.  Our perky student tour guide "Grace" began by telling us that the Visitor's Center was a gift from the Class of '44, at which point Maggie leaned over and asked me, "Mommy, was that when you were here?" Ummmm, no Maggie.  Only about a half a century off!

So, here we were taking our tour of my alma mater- Julie and I and our 5 kids, and about 15 prospective students and their parents.  Of course, we had that one parent in our group, you know, the one who has to ask a million questions, no matter how obvious the answer was?  Every time he would ask something, his son would roll his eyes.  Interestingly enough, they weren't often standing next to each other during the tour :)

We walked across Bowman field, by the president's house, and over to the dorms on the east side of campus.  We took a tour of a dorm room- in an all girls dorm, next door to my freshman dorm!  Caroline couldn't believe how small the room was, and then she was extra shocked when she found out that TWO people shared that room!  Being in that dorm room brought back some great memories, and I was so glad Julie was there to share that with.

Next was the dining hall.  Now, things have changed since I went there.  Schilleter dining hall was NOTHING like the place I remembered having countless meals in.  In fact, it looked more like a dining hall on a cruise ship than anything I remembered.  Once we walked in, Caroline turned and looked at me and said "This is where I am going to college!!!"

The rest of the tour was great, and informative.  I learned that tuition was more than DOUBLE what I paid in the 1990's, I learned that the whole campus (including Bowman field) was a wireless hotspot, all incoming freshman must have a laptop (Caroline liked that one too), and the last thing I learned was that a 2 hour tour was WAYYYY too long for a 5 year old :) They survived though, since I promised them ice cream when we were done.

At the '55 Exchange on campus they sell ice cream produced by the Ag students on campus.   The kids LOVED it, and enjoyed every bite.

From there we went shopping for new Clemson gear downtown.  We got some new shirts, hats, and sweatshirts.  In the last store we were in (Judge Heller's) we had an experience that reminded me of how much I love the south, and Clemson.

As in every other store, after about 5 minutes Jack had to use the bathroom.  There was an older man working (maybe in his 70's) working, and he showed Jack where it was.  I was chatting with him while we waited.  I was telling him about bringing the kids to see my school, and I mentioned to him how the prices had gone up since then.  He told me when he went to school in the 50's it was only $800 a year!  Wouldn't that be nice!  After Jack got done I said "Come on kids, we have to go if we don't want to miss the game."  The man asked me, "Are you talking about baseball?"  Jack told him yes.  He asked me,"Do you guys already have tickets?" When I said no, he told me to wait where we were.  He went to the back and brought out his pack of season tickets, and ripped them out and handed them to me.  He told me "I am not going to use these tonight, please make good use of them."  The were row A (front row) right behind home plate.  He wouldn't take any money for them, and he sent us on our way.  Only in Clemson!!!

We thoroughly enjoyed the game, and the Tiger's won 12-3 for us.  Each time there was a Tiger run scored they would run around waving the Tiger Paw flag.  Jack got his picture taken with the Tiger, and we had a great time.  As we were leaving, Jack told me "Thanks for taking me mom, this was a great surprise."

It was a quick trip, but one I was very glad I made.  Caroline keeps talking about "when I go to Clemson" and Jack keeps talking about "the place where the girls live."  I am very glad that I got to share that piece of my history with them.

What to do???

Well, I knew it was going to happen eventually, but this week I realized that there is something on my bucket list that I am not going to be able to do before I am 40.

I have always wanted to take my girls to the annual "Take your daughter to Clemson" weekend.  I thought that this year would be perfect- both girls are old enough to go, and I am aware of it in advance so I can actually plan to go.

Problem?  My oldest has her end of the season soccer tournament that weekend.  Not only will she have multiple games, but we won't know when they are until they have played the game before it.  The games will be all weekend, and will make it virtually impossible to make it to any of the weekend up at Clemson.

This is dissapointing to me on so many levels.  I really wanted to take them to the event.  This is the first thing on my bucket list that has become "undoable."  When I set a goal, I really do NOT like to not achieve it.  It frustrates me to the point that I think, "If I can't do it all, should I even bother???"  Not that I am a quitter, it just makes it easier to justify not getting to other things as well. 

I am going to have to refocus my brain.  Maybe replace #23 with something equally as worthy?  I am working on other milestones this week, and I am getting closer and closer to knocking more things off the list.  Thanks to everyone who has forwarded me "Groupons" for the things I need- you are helping me make my list happen.

So, what I need from you guys is help- what do I do about #23?  Right now all I can think of doing is hoping for rain :)