A huge change in plans

When I first decided to make this bucket list, I had a real sense of urgency in getting it done.  There were certain things that needed to be done at certain times, or they couldn't be done at all (Mardi Gras, Clemson Triathlon.....things like that.)  I made often spontaneous decisions to do things so they would get done in the timeframe I needed, and lucky for me, I am not a big planner, so it wasn't that big a deal to pack up in the middle of the night and head out of town the next day.

This week has been a great example to me about why I don't get stressed out making plans too far in advance.  If you had asked me last week what I was doing this week, the answer would have been cupcakes to Jack's class Monday, a few swim/run bricks, and at least one outdoor bike. Two of my best friends had birthdays this week that I wanted to celebrate.  I had some goals I wanted to do, but nothing set in stone time or day wise.

Instead it has been this: hospital ER Saturday night, back Monday morning, and there almost non-stop ever since.  The mornings blur into days, which blur into night, and I am not sure what day of the week it even is.  My baby is sick, and my biggest "to do" on my bucket list now is to get her out of pain, and get her home. 

It has been a huge emotional roller coaster- extreme highs when she seems to be responding to medications, and extreme lows when she is in a lot of pain, or has to endure painful procedures or surgery.  There has not been a lot of time to worry about me, but I wouldn't want to anyway.  My main job on this earth is to be a mother to these great kids, take care and protect them, teach them and nurture them.

I have gotten to see how tough my baby is- and hopefully at least part of this is becaused she has been raised to be flexible and to go with the flow.  She is also humble, as she told me the other day she couldn't believe how sweet everyone was being to her.  Every time I tell her someone else has asked about her or said a prayer for her she seems surprised and grateful.  She has handled this whole situation so much better than I would expect any 7 year old to handle it.

My friends and family have been amazing as well- I haven't worried one time about the other kids, as arrangements are being made for them for me. They are spending time with people that they love and trust as well, which takes a huge burden off of me as well.  It has shown me that others are flexible too- and can fit my kids and their needs into their plans just as easily.

That being said, I am not sure when we will get to go home.  Like a bad cliche from a Paula Abdul song, we seem to take two steps forward, one step back.  We will have a great afternoon, and a crappy night. We had a good night last night, so I am not too optimistic about today.  I am trying not to focus on the day we go home, but rather on hitting the milestones that bring us closer to going home. We are not taking it day by day, but rather hour by hour at this point.

Sorry for the rambling.....if you were expecting a lighthearted post, I apologize.  I don't have it in my this week.

I am however add one more thing to my bucketlist:

41. Bring my girl home from the hospital by Mother’s Day.