40 days till 40!!!!

Today I realized that there are 40 days until I turn 40.  *Gulp*  I guess I have to hurry up and get the rest of these things done!  I am going to highlight the things I have done...again, if anyone wants to do anything that is left with me, let me know!

1.      Feed the homeless 

2.    See Ruby Falls and Rock City

3.    Climb Stone Mountain

4.    Do Clemson tri with friends (Steph???)turned into the Warrior Dash, buyt tons of fun with Steph  anyway!

5.    Wear a bikini in public the YMCA made this one easy ;)

6.    After a negative experience with someone, find the positive in them and let them know what it is.

7.     Make a pillowcase for the Cancer center (http://www.conkerrcancer.org/)

8.    Get a mammogram (EVERY.DAMN.YEAR.)

9.    Apply for Survivor

10.Zumba with Darby

11.   Go on a group bike ride

12.  Get back to Lifetime at WW

13. Start a blog

14.  Compete in a race with the goal of placing, not just finishing. Holly Springs Memorial 5k

15. Get my hair straightened.

16. Buy an expensive (over $100) pair of jeans

17.  Wear these jeans with high heels

18. Go horseback riding with Mary

19. Take the kids to a drive in

20. Visit at least 1 new city

21. Take the kids to a Clemson soccer game Planning on it this weekend!!!

22. Contribute to my IRA

23. Take my girls to the “Take your daughter to Clemson” weekend

24. Make it to the bus stop one day without raising my voice EVEN ONE TIME.

25. Pay the toll for the car behind me.

26. Build a house with Habitat.  This one got a little ammended due to Habitat plans, but we enjoyed the experience anyway.  We ended up rehabing a youth shelter instead.

27. Learn to knit- left handed

28. Eat a meal made up completely of food I have grown and/or caught. Looks like this one is going to end up a tomato meal ;)

29. Show up as mystery reader in costume (stolen idea from a FB friend)

30. Get a physical. (And not just the “girly” stuff)

31. Have lunch with an old friend and catch up (Thx Chelle!)

32. Take a clay class with Kelly

33. Make a list of 10 people I know in my life that have inspired me getting there...

34. Wear pajama jeans to the mall (which means I have to get some!)

35. List 10 times I was WAY wrong

36. Support someone in something I don’t believe in, just because I love them

37. Mardi Gras (why haven’t I thought of this before???)

38. Run down “The Hill” hoping for this weekend!

39. Zip line in Georgia a great time with the lovely Linda Collins

40. Interview my parents about their youth, and capture it.

 

And for those interested in finding out more out about my Pajama Jeans, I wore them to the first PTA meeting in front of EVERYONE!  I didn't even have one person call me out on it. 

 

I learned a little trick a long time ago....always have something going on which reminds you to have a sense of humor.  When you take yourself too seriously you can really stress yourself out.  I wore my pajama jeans just for this reason. 

PTA and Brussels Sprouts

6. After a negative experience with someone, find the positive in them and let them know what it is.

So here it is, August in Georgia, and back to school. So many people have asked me, "What are you going to do with all of your free time now that all three kids are in school?"  Well, I have been thinking about that for a long time now.  Long enough, in fact, that I had to make a plan so that I didn't end up having too much free time, and find myself with no excuses NOT to go get a job.  My plan, which seemed like a good idea at the time, was to help out more at my school.  After all, this was the only year that all three of my kids were going to be at the same school.  So, when the nominating committee asked me if I would consider serving on the PTA for this year, I said yes. And, since I am such an overachiever, I said yes to becoming the PTA Co-President.  What could POSSIBLY go wrong with this????

My Co-President has been very active in the school, and is well liked by all of the teachers.  She knows way more than I do about what the school has done in the past, and she has always done a lot behind the scenes. I figured my not-as-detail-oriented personality would be balanced well by her. Our board worked together well over the summer, and were excited about the things to come.

Enter the school year.  If I learned one thing in my previous retail career, whatever you do will make some people happy, while it ticks other people off.  You just can't make all of the people happy all of the time, so you have to do what works best for the most amount of people.  We set up our committees, had our volunteer meeting, and set up work plans.

After the volunteer meeting I got a call from someone who I usually consider one of the most calm people I know. (And by calm, I mean somehow manages to have more kids than me at more events than I do, without raising her voice nearly as much as I do.)  She was upset because someone had attacked her after the meeting to let her know all of the things she was doing wrong while she was planning her event.  We chatted about her not letting this lady get her down, and how she was doing what the majority wanted to do.  I didn't think anything about it again.........until........

Another board member sent out an email about a planning meeting.  Evidently, this same lady emailed her, me, my co-president and last year's co-president to let us know how we were doing things wrong, how boards in the past had done things wrong, and basically how she had done things better.  My Co-President didn't want to answer right away, as her emotions were not steering her towards a productive response.  I decided this was my opportunity to try and find the positive in the situation and respond.  I told her, "Don't worry about it. I've got this one."  Famous. Last. Words.

I carefully chose my words.  I had two different people read my email to make sure that it sounded positive and not sarcastic at all.  I praised her for wanting to help and helping us to see opportunities to improve on.  And I felt good about the email.  I felt like I was being the bigger person, and not letting my emotions get the best of me.

Without going too much into what the response I received back was, let's just say that my positive attitude was not exactly received well.  Someone's panties were on too tight, her dog peed in her cereal bowl, or SOMETHING else was dramatically wrong with her life to make someone who, in theory, was rational enough to hold a job, act like a raving lunatic.

But....my bucket list included STILL being positive.  So, I sucked it up, asked her to further explain what I might have missed, and made the right decision to try one more time.  Again my co-president was a little too emotionally charged to deal with it.  In fact, if she gave the response that she wanted to give, CBS would have banned it from their halftime show.

In hindsight, I probably should have just ignored her.  Isn't that what they tell you to do with bees?   If a grizzly bear comes after you, you are supposed to play dead and hope they go away, right???  Yet here I was touching the stove again to make sure it was still hot.

I got an even better response from this email.  She even told me that she thought "I can be even more of a smart ass than you, and I think I have proven that."  Wow.  I wasn't even trying to be one.  Imagine if I had!  I guess she had never had someone tell her one of her ideas was good, and thought that this was my idea of being a smart ass.

And then I made the best decision to date.  I told her I didn't appreciate being personally attacked as a volunteer, told her she could deal with someone else next time, and I BLOCKED HER EMAIL.  Talk about empowering.  Now I get I will have to deal with her again in the future, and I am sure it will go just swimmingly.  But, for now, she cannot interrupt my day to criticize me, or make me focus anymore of my energy on her at random times of the day (well, except for now, but that is another story.)

That got me thinking?  What if we could block people in real life?  Put some kind of filter up so that they just couldn't "get to us"?  What a great thing that would be.  I am so inventing this in my next life. (That might be a little bit beyond my capabilities right now since I am just now learning that Excel does a LOT more now than it did in 1991 when I took computer science.)

So the lesson I am taking from #6  is the same one that I tell the kids when I make a new recipe.  You have to at least try it, and if you don't like it you don't have to try it again.  And #6 turned out to be like Brussels sprouts.

(And on a P.S......anyone that can invent my "People Filter" is welcome to the royalties as long as I am the first that gets to use it.)

(And P.P.S.......after I blocked the lunatic, my Co-President sent her one last email WITHOUT waiting for her emotions to die down first.  I reread it over and over and laughed about it the rest of the day.)

The tough part about being my age

1.       Compete in a race with the goal of placing, not just finishing.

You probably don't know where I am going with this.....I am not going to complain about the usual.....gray hair, wrinkle, gravity, you know the drill.  Instead, let me set you up for this post by telling you about a 5k I did last summer with my dad and my daughter.

Last summer my daughter decided that she would really like going to do races with me.  I think she was just overly impressed by the bags of "stuff" you get at the end.  Almost every one of them has a coupon for a free ice dream cone at Chick Fil A in it, and what ten year old can resist that?   Since she plays soccer for two hours at a time I figured she could handle the run. We found a small, local race, and signed up for it: me, my dad, and my daughter.

Now, I should back up and mention, I have been doing races with my dad on and off since I was about 12 (the dreaded Roswell Youth Day Parade where I got horrible cramps and ended up riding to the end in the police car at the back of the race.)  This process has come full circle- from my dad slowing his pace to run with me when I was younger, ours pretty much matching when I became an adult, and recently since he has hit retirement age, I slow my pace down to run with him.  Adding the daughter to the mix should work out just fine.

We show up for the race, and start scoping out how many people may be in each of our age groups.  We see a couple that may be in the 10 and under girls, a couple that may be in the 65+ men, and I swear to you, every other person at the race is MY age.  And I might add, they are not your typical "Oh, I have never done a 5k before, and my goal is just to finish."  No, the women my age all look like they just completed the Boston Marathon, and may be able to run a 4 minute mile.

We get started and all three of us kept the same pace for the first mile. It was a little slower than I normally run, dad was a little faster than normal, and the kid just kept up.  We made a left turn, and saw the hills up ahead, and the complaining began.  "Can we walk now?"  "This hill is TOO big." "You are running too fast."  "Don't leave me!"  For the next half a mile I teetered between being encouraging ("You can do it!") to really annoyed ("Why did you want to come if you didn't want to do this????")  I walked up the hill with her, and cringed every time someone in WalMart sneakers or jean shorts passed us. 

We got to the top of the hill and I started to jog down.  Again the whining.  Again I got totally frustrated.  Feeling my frustration, my dad told me, "Run ahead.  I will stay with her."  And I took off.

For the last mile I spent the time trying to catch up with and pass every person that I thought was in my age group.  I caught about 3 in the last 100 yards, and I was feeling pretty good about myself.  Even with the walking up that hill with my daughter I came in right at 30 minutes, and I waited for them at the end.

And I waited.....

And I waited....

And I waited....

And about 8 minutes later I saw them turn the corner towards the finish, and I got to cheer them across the line.

Now, I don't usually stay for the awards ceremony at races.  There is not really any reason to, since I run at a good pace for me, but not an award winning pace.  I am not usually in a race to win it, and I just feel good getting my tshirt, my swag bag, and heading home knowing that I am done with my daily workout before 10.

However, while I was waiting for them to come around the corner, I glanced at the awards sheet.  Before my daughter came in, there was only one girl listed on the score sheet in her age group.  I decided we should stay around and wait to see if she placed in the race.

During the award ceremony I learned an interesting fact- a 66 year old man and a 9 both run at the same pace.  And interestingly enough, that pace is good  enough for 2nd place in BOTH age groups!!!  They both got their 2nd place medals, and all of the whining and complaining was forgotten.  I was so proud of them, until I realized something.

I finished the race EIGHT MINUTES before either of them.  And guess what?  I was no where NEAR placing in my age group!  Fair?  I think not!  I am in the "I am done having kids, I am going to reclaim my body and prove what a badass I really am" age group.  (And you know who you are.....I have several friends like this, and I wish I had the dedication some of them do!!!) 

So....the tough part about being my age is that it is a very competitive race age.  If I want to place I am going to have to work way harder than a 9 year old or a 66 year old to do it.  I am not going to "accidentally" get a medal for finishing fast, it will have to be an effort.

So, this Memorial Day my dad and I did the same race. (We didn't bring the whiny child with us since it was her first day out of school and she wanted to sleep late.)  We did the same pre-race assessment, and tried to figure out what it would take to place.  I asked my dad if he minded if I ran ahead, and he told me to go ahead.  I ran a great pace for me, and surprisingly enough, finished in my own PR (personal record).  I waited for my dad to finish (about 6 minutes after me) and then we stuck around for the awards ceremony to see where he placed.  And guess what.........when they got to the 35-39 year old Female awards, I came in 3rd place!!!  I got my medal and my picture taken.  I was so proud of myself.

And then a few minutes later, Dad got 2nd in his age group.  And he STILL finished 6 minutes after me :)`

A huge change in plans

When I first decided to make this bucket list, I had a real sense of urgency in getting it done.  There were certain things that needed to be done at certain times, or they couldn't be done at all (Mardi Gras, Clemson Triathlon.....things like that.)  I made often spontaneous decisions to do things so they would get done in the timeframe I needed, and lucky for me, I am not a big planner, so it wasn't that big a deal to pack up in the middle of the night and head out of town the next day.

This week has been a great example to me about why I don't get stressed out making plans too far in advance.  If you had asked me last week what I was doing this week, the answer would have been cupcakes to Jack's class Monday, a few swim/run bricks, and at least one outdoor bike. Two of my best friends had birthdays this week that I wanted to celebrate.  I had some goals I wanted to do, but nothing set in stone time or day wise.

Instead it has been this: hospital ER Saturday night, back Monday morning, and there almost non-stop ever since.  The mornings blur into days, which blur into night, and I am not sure what day of the week it even is.  My baby is sick, and my biggest "to do" on my bucket list now is to get her out of pain, and get her home. 

It has been a huge emotional roller coaster- extreme highs when she seems to be responding to medications, and extreme lows when she is in a lot of pain, or has to endure painful procedures or surgery.  There has not been a lot of time to worry about me, but I wouldn't want to anyway.  My main job on this earth is to be a mother to these great kids, take care and protect them, teach them and nurture them.

I have gotten to see how tough my baby is- and hopefully at least part of this is becaused she has been raised to be flexible and to go with the flow.  She is also humble, as she told me the other day she couldn't believe how sweet everyone was being to her.  Every time I tell her someone else has asked about her or said a prayer for her she seems surprised and grateful.  She has handled this whole situation so much better than I would expect any 7 year old to handle it.

My friends and family have been amazing as well- I haven't worried one time about the other kids, as arrangements are being made for them for me. They are spending time with people that they love and trust as well, which takes a huge burden off of me as well.  It has shown me that others are flexible too- and can fit my kids and their needs into their plans just as easily.

That being said, I am not sure when we will get to go home.  Like a bad cliche from a Paula Abdul song, we seem to take two steps forward, one step back.  We will have a great afternoon, and a crappy night. We had a good night last night, so I am not too optimistic about today.  I am trying not to focus on the day we go home, but rather on hitting the milestones that bring us closer to going home. We are not taking it day by day, but rather hour by hour at this point.

Sorry for the rambling.....if you were expecting a lighthearted post, I apologize.  I don't have it in my this week.

I am however add one more thing to my bucketlist:

41. Bring my girl home from the hospital by Mother’s Day.

Clemson modified

23. Take my girls kids to the “Take your daughter to Clemson” weekend visit Clemson.

 For those of you who read my last post and made suggestions, thank you.  I was so upset that I wasn't going to be able to cross of #22 this year and I couldn't see past this disappointment.  When several of you suggested I "make my own" weekend, I thought it was a great idea!  In fact, I thought it was so great, I packed up the kids and took off for Clemson the very next day! I tend to be a bit on the spontaneous side (read- don't always think things through) and I thought, no better time than the present!

I got on the Clemson website, signed up for a tour, checked out baseball game times, and cleaned out the car.  We charged the DSs, and went to bed early.

So, Wednesday morning of Spring Break, we got up, got dressed, and hopped in the car for the 2 hour drive.  I didn't tell the kids where we were going, but they were excited anyway because they knew that we were getting out of the house. 

On the way there I called my friend Julie (who went to Clemson with me) and asked her if she wanted to meet me there.  Luckily for me she homeschools her kids, and meeting me at the botanical gardens there could easily fit into her school day.  All of the flowers were in bloom, and there was some kind of kid's program going on that day.

We arrived at the botanical gardens, and went looking for the program.  As we were walking through I thought to myself, "Four years here and I never saw these beautiful gardens?"  I remember getting pictures taken by the caboose at the entrance for a scavenger hunt, but I never remember walking through the gardens.  It was beautiful.  Julie and her boys arrived and we followed a map to the "program."  We didn't stay long there (the "program" turned out to be a children's storytime in the garden) but we did find the children's area where there were food plants, a butterfly garden, and many herbs and flowers. We followed around an older lady who seemed to be able to identify everything there, and hopefully she told us the right names to the plants :)  We even found the caboose!!!

Then it was time to take our tour.  I had called the day before to ask if the tour was only for prospective students, or if anyone could take it.  They assured me that it was open to the general public.  We showed up at the Visitor's Center to start.  Our perky student tour guide "Grace" began by telling us that the Visitor's Center was a gift from the Class of '44, at which point Maggie leaned over and asked me, "Mommy, was that when you were here?" Ummmm, no Maggie.  Only about a half a century off!

So, here we were taking our tour of my alma mater- Julie and I and our 5 kids, and about 15 prospective students and their parents.  Of course, we had that one parent in our group, you know, the one who has to ask a million questions, no matter how obvious the answer was?  Every time he would ask something, his son would roll his eyes.  Interestingly enough, they weren't often standing next to each other during the tour :)

We walked across Bowman field, by the president's house, and over to the dorms on the east side of campus.  We took a tour of a dorm room- in an all girls dorm, next door to my freshman dorm!  Caroline couldn't believe how small the room was, and then she was extra shocked when she found out that TWO people shared that room!  Being in that dorm room brought back some great memories, and I was so glad Julie was there to share that with.

Next was the dining hall.  Now, things have changed since I went there.  Schilleter dining hall was NOTHING like the place I remembered having countless meals in.  In fact, it looked more like a dining hall on a cruise ship than anything I remembered.  Once we walked in, Caroline turned and looked at me and said "This is where I am going to college!!!"

The rest of the tour was great, and informative.  I learned that tuition was more than DOUBLE what I paid in the 1990's, I learned that the whole campus (including Bowman field) was a wireless hotspot, all incoming freshman must have a laptop (Caroline liked that one too), and the last thing I learned was that a 2 hour tour was WAYYYY too long for a 5 year old :) They survived though, since I promised them ice cream when we were done.

At the '55 Exchange on campus they sell ice cream produced by the Ag students on campus.   The kids LOVED it, and enjoyed every bite.

From there we went shopping for new Clemson gear downtown.  We got some new shirts, hats, and sweatshirts.  In the last store we were in (Judge Heller's) we had an experience that reminded me of how much I love the south, and Clemson.

As in every other store, after about 5 minutes Jack had to use the bathroom.  There was an older man working (maybe in his 70's) working, and he showed Jack where it was.  I was chatting with him while we waited.  I was telling him about bringing the kids to see my school, and I mentioned to him how the prices had gone up since then.  He told me when he went to school in the 50's it was only $800 a year!  Wouldn't that be nice!  After Jack got done I said "Come on kids, we have to go if we don't want to miss the game."  The man asked me, "Are you talking about baseball?"  Jack told him yes.  He asked me,"Do you guys already have tickets?" When I said no, he told me to wait where we were.  He went to the back and brought out his pack of season tickets, and ripped them out and handed them to me.  He told me "I am not going to use these tonight, please make good use of them."  The were row A (front row) right behind home plate.  He wouldn't take any money for them, and he sent us on our way.  Only in Clemson!!!

We thoroughly enjoyed the game, and the Tiger's won 12-3 for us.  Each time there was a Tiger run scored they would run around waving the Tiger Paw flag.  Jack got his picture taken with the Tiger, and we had a great time.  As we were leaving, Jack told me "Thanks for taking me mom, this was a great surprise."

It was a quick trip, but one I was very glad I made.  Caroline keeps talking about "when I go to Clemson" and Jack keeps talking about "the place where the girls live."  I am very glad that I got to share that piece of my history with them.

What to do???

Well, I knew it was going to happen eventually, but this week I realized that there is something on my bucket list that I am not going to be able to do before I am 40.

I have always wanted to take my girls to the annual "Take your daughter to Clemson" weekend.  I thought that this year would be perfect- both girls are old enough to go, and I am aware of it in advance so I can actually plan to go.

Problem?  My oldest has her end of the season soccer tournament that weekend.  Not only will she have multiple games, but we won't know when they are until they have played the game before it.  The games will be all weekend, and will make it virtually impossible to make it to any of the weekend up at Clemson.

This is dissapointing to me on so many levels.  I really wanted to take them to the event.  This is the first thing on my bucket list that has become "undoable."  When I set a goal, I really do NOT like to not achieve it.  It frustrates me to the point that I think, "If I can't do it all, should I even bother???"  Not that I am a quitter, it just makes it easier to justify not getting to other things as well. 

I am going to have to refocus my brain.  Maybe replace #23 with something equally as worthy?  I am working on other milestones this week, and I am getting closer and closer to knocking more things off the list.  Thanks to everyone who has forwarded me "Groupons" for the things I need- you are helping me make my list happen.

So, what I need from you guys is help- what do I do about #23?  Right now all I can think of doing is hoping for rain :)

Sneaky......

Do things every just sneak up on you?  They sneak up on me all the time.....school pictures, due dates for projects, birthday parties...the list goes on.  Usually when things sneak up on me it leaves me frazzled and racing around trying to do what I meant to get done before it happened. 

Just Monday we were getting ready for school and realized it was picture day.  Who schedules pictures on a Monday?  Certainly sending the kids home on Friday with a sticker that says "Picture Day tomorrow" is not enough to keep that fact in my head for the next 72 hours, no matter how bright pink it is.  Yet another week began in a rushed manner.

This is a very full time of year for me.  You see, my husband is an accountant. Leading up to April 15th he works 6 very late days a week.  That leaves my to get everyone where they need to be, and still get the things done I need to do.  Last week alone we had 4 soccer games, 3 baseball games, 3 soccer practices, 4 play rehersals, 1 acutal play performance, baseball pictures, and 2 birthday parties.  (Should I also mention that I had baseball hats, softball uniforms, soccer backpacks and birthday presents to finish embroidering for my at home business?) It is enough to make me crazy.  It is DEFINITELY enough for me to miss things that are sneaking up on me!

Today something else snuck up on me.  I had to take my oldest to the doctor this morning. Usually Tuesday is my Weight Watchers day. I weigh in, and then I stay for the meeting.  I need the motivation that this gives me to face another week.  Today I had her with me, so I couldn't stay for the meeting.

So, I took her to the doctor, and then on the way home I stopped by the church where the meetings are held, just to weigh in and leave.  I stepped on the scale and handed the lady my "monthly pass."  She looked at the scale, and then looked at the pass.  "Why are you still using that? Go ahead and cancel it.....you are back at your goal."

What????  How did I miss that happening?  Usually I am so anal retentive that I weigh myself every day.  Certainly I would have noticed.  Then I realized with everything else going on, the number on the scale just didn't seem as important.

What was important though, is that I have been planning meals, and making healthier choices.  I have been snacking on fruits and vegetables, and as a family we have been skipping the drive thrus.  Because of the changes in my diet, I have the energy to face all that the springtime activities throw upon me.  The kids are eating and snacking healthier, and have been asking for specific fruits when I go to the store.  This planning of meals and healthier way of eating has actually benefitted our hectic lifestyle.

Sunday after my daughter's soccer game I took her to Sonic for a drink.  I was hungry, and I actually ordered a BANANA off of their menu.  I knew I had a soccer game later, and anything else was going to make me sick to my stomach.  I have been listening to my body, and it actually likes healthier foods. I have created a habit of planning meals, and eating healthier.  And JUST IN TIME.

It looks like shorts weather just snuck up on me.