The half- marathon of life

Last night I took my kids to a Halloween party.  After staying out late the night before, getting up at 5:00 to run a half-marathon and spending the afternoon at kid's activities, I really didn't want to go.  But knowing that the kids wanted to, I showered, put on my new race t-shirt, and went to the party.

Upon arriving, there was a dad there with a Boston Marathon race shirt on.  While I could never do that race in my wildest dreams, he took my tshirt as a sign that we had something in common and started a conversation with me.

"How was the race this morning?" "It was good." "How was your time?" "As expected." "Did you meet all of the goals you made for the race?"  "Um, I finished it........"  End of conversation.

However, as I sat in the cold watching the kids on their hay ride I started thinking about that question.....had I actually set goals for this race?  And had I met them?

The first half I did was 2 years ago, on Thanksgiving with my sister.  The goal there was only one thing- finish alive. And we did.

Last year I ran the Silver Comet Half with my dad, my brother in law, and my friend Faith.  The goal then?  To improve on my time from the year before.  And I did.  I took 10 minutes off my time from the Thanksgiving race the year  before.

This year, I really had no intention of running another half.  That is, until my friend Lisa asked me if I would.

Lisa and I go way back.  All the way back to the days of running stadiums at Death Valley in Clemson (which goes to show all of you who think I have just recently become fanatical about exercise, I was even a little nuts back in the day, running stadiums in a place that seats over 80,000.)  All the way back to Thursday nights at the Esso Club, and road trips to away football games.

Lisa and I almost 19 years ago to the day

Lisa and I are the kind of friends that can not talk for 6 months, meet up, and then pick up right where we left off. We also have very similar goals and personalities, and when she told me this summer about her plan to get control of her health and fitness I was all over what I could do to help. I felt a personal connection with her goal, as this was something I I had made my personal mission just this spring.

While we both were getting ready for the same race, there really wasn't any way for us to train together.  She works and trains at night, I have to train while the kids are in school.  We both have very hectic kid's activities, and kept in touch with each other about training.

I trained with my friend Jenny (which I could go into a lot more, but let's just say this....two hours on the trail with Jenny is WAY more therapeutic than any therapy session, and I LOVE HER DEARLY.  I actually am going to keep on taking long runs with her, because I don't even notice the running when I am spending time chatting about how "normal" we both really are ;)

Anyway, I digress. Back to race day.

We got started out on the race and it was beautiful.  Nice cool 55 degrees, leaves changing color, slight breeze.....awesome day for a run.  Lisa and I started out at a nice conversation pace, and spent the first 5 miles or so catching up on the kids.  At some point a man actually came up behind us and said "I am so impressed that you guys can keep up a conversation like this- I can barely breathe!" Our response? "We can chat through anything ;)"

The next 5 miles or so got a little harder.  We talked about things a little more serious, personal goals, where we both were in our lives and in our identities as moms, wives, and women, and how turning that magical age (you know the one) left us more introspective, more willing to take chances, and more satisfied in decisions we were making.  Again, just another reinforcement that we are truly kindred spirits.....

After mile 10, things got harder.  My knee, which hadn't hurt in a year and a half, started aching.  Lisa started thinking that she needed to slow down or walk.  We were there for each other to talk through the doubts, and encourage each other.  We talked about how running is such a mental battle, and leaned on each other to get through.

When I run, I get to a point where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  My stride gets longer, pace gets faster, and all I can do is see the finish line in my head. I hit that when I saw mile 11. At that point Lisa was ready to walk, and I just was not going to let that happen.  I talked her through the next two miles, knowing that if the roles were reversed, she would do the same thing for me.  You see, there have been times in my life when she has encouraged me in things I didn't feel confident in.  She is always there to point out the positive that I don't see, so the least I could do was do the same for her.  We kept going, and finished about 13 minutes ahead of the goal she had set for herself. 

 

 

So going back to the original question, had I made all of the goals I had set for myself?  The way I see it, a half marathon is kind of a metaphor for reaching all of your goals.  When you set a goal, it seems easy to begin.  You go into it gung ho, and give it 110%.   After a while, the shiny newness wears off, and the monotony and hard work has to kick in.  This is when things get harder to continue, and it is really helpful if you have good friends and family to lean on.  Then, the closer you get to your goals, the harder you have to work to get there.  Who hasn't seen how hard it is to lose the last 5 pounds?  To win someone over with a second or third interview?  To not give in to your kid because "everyone else is doing it?"  The easy thing to do here is quit or give in, thinking almost is good enough. Pushing through is much harder, but can be encouraged by good friends and family who "have your back" much as Lisa and I had each other for our race.

So yes.....I made my goal.  I spent a good 2 hours on the trail with a great friend.....I got to give back to her as she always gives to me....and the mental victory was ours to share.  And together we will continue on this half marathon of life.