Out of the comfort zone- again!

10.Zumba with Darby

As if I wasn't already moving outside of my comfort zone last week, this week I actually tried Zumba.    For those of you who know me well, count quickly in your heads the number of times you have ever seen me dance.  That was easy, wasn't it???  I am an athletic person, but rhythm is not one of my strong points.  Add to the fact that the room the class was in is FULL of mirrors, and you can quickly see how this was something I was dreading. 

I went to a class my friend Lucy was teaching.  Now you have to understand, I have taken her sculpt classes before, and I know she is enthusiastic. I run with her on Fridays (when she is not getting her hair done.) My friend Darby would be there too- what was there to be scared of??? Even my friend Jenny (who is new to my gym) showed up for the action. The class was packed, and everyone looked excited and ready to have a good time.

The music started, and it was impossible not to feel the energy in the room. Obviously most people had taken the class before- they were smiling and going along with it.  I followed Lucy in the mirror and tried to keep up with the steps.  As I watched I wondered to myself, "Is this an actual routine, or is she just making it up as she goes along???"

A few minutes in, and Lucy was transformed.  She was smiling, singing, cheering, and it was impossible not to try a little bit harder.  Her enthusiasm was contagious, and I found myself starting to enjoy the class.  Even though I didn't know any of the steps, I continued to move, and began to sweat.  Everyone in the room was enjoying themselves, and to my relief no one seemed to notice that I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing.

That was of course, until Lucy decided between songs to stop the music and introduce me to the rest of the class.  She pointed out that I hadn't done this before, I was doing it for my bucket list, AND that I was turning 40 this year.  There goes the anonymity....................  That being said, everyone was very nice and very encouraging.  A few songs later when Darby warned me not to do the "gator" I realized that this was actually a choreographed routine, and that they hadn't all been making up moves the whole time!  A few more songs, and the class was over.

All in all the class was fun.  I really enjoyed watching Lucy become so passionate about teaching.  I wish I could find a job that I enjoyed that much! (Of course that post is for another day....the whole finding a job that fits your passions could actually turn into a whole different blog for me :) Thanks to Lucy, Darby, Jenny and the rest of the class for making it so enjoyable.  And who knows....I may just show up for another Zumba class one day!!!

Out of the comfort zone

5.    Wear a bikini in public

It has been years since I have worn a bikini. The last time I did I was a twenty-something.  I consider myself a pretty fit person, but bikini ready, I am not.  I am at the point right now where my body is used to the workouts I do, and working out the way I have been for the last several years just aren't going to change my body.

That being said, last week I decided to look for a new way to change it.  I scheduled several different "new" things that I hoped would shock my body into changing.  Something different every day, all designed to push me out of my comfort zone and into a state of change.

The first thing I did was to have a consultation with a Sports Medicine Chiropractor. I made this appointment for a Monday, forgetting that MLK day means the kids are coming with me.  Fabulous.  I was hoping he   could help clear up some knee issues I had, allowing me to work out  more without pain.  Little did I know how many other "issues" I had!

I got to the office and he briefly went over how he was going to run a stress test on me, and see how my body reacted.  Once we found out how aligned or misaligned my body was, then we could start repairing it, and make it work more efficiently. His assistant and intern would work on getting me hooked up for the test.

Now, I don't know what I was expecting, but this equipment looked like the most complex lie detector test I had ever seen.  Sensors on each hand, each shoulder, both earlobes, scalp, and heart rate monitor were all hooked up by the intern. The scalp sensor alone took about 5 different tries- the last one of which I thought he was going to push the thing straight through my brain trying to get it on.  Not sure if this was part of the "stress test" or not, but I know at that point my heart rate was up! 

Once everything was hooked up there were a variety of "tests" during which all of my body's reactions were recorded.  The first one was to subtract backwards from 500 by sevens each time a recorded voice yelled "NOW!"  Every 3 seconds for 90 seconds he yelled at me while I tried to do the math in my head.  Wouldn't 2s have been much easier???  Then a 90 second close your eyes and relax time (during which I could hear Maggie and Jack in the waiting room fighting over a plastic snake.)  More stress situations, more relax time.  The theory is, if your body is working well it will calm itself back down during the rest times.  One of the last tests was a 3 minute breathing and relax time.  Got done, a few more physical tests, then schedule a time to come back and read the testing results.  Great!  Come back on Thursday.

Day 2 of moving out of my comfort zone I met my friend Lucy to work out with her personal trainer.  Now I have been going to the same gym for 5 years.  I work out A LOT.  I have seen this trainer in the gym on a daily basis and have never seen anyone cry while working out with him.  We start "warming up" and I think I might be the first.  I learn that he was a marine, and he is going to stand over me counting to make sure that I don't miss a rep. Subconsciously I sucked in my belly the whole time.  Since he had about 0% body fat I was a little bit self conscious about mine. I used more muscles in that 30 minute workout than I do in 2 hours on my own.  During the workout he said something that stuck-"Going out of your comfort zone is the only way to change. Pain is just weakness leaving your body."  It was a good workout, and I could see why people pay money for a trainer.

Day three I agreed to meet up with a new friend to try Crossfit.  After working with the trainer, how hard could it be??? Famous last words.

We went over expectations, we went over what the plan was.  The support that comes with the program seemed great.  Exercises seemed doable.  Not scared yet :)  As we were talking some of the members started filing in ready for the next class.  The first guy looked like a cross between Arnold Schwartenegger and someone from Miami Ink.  Not intimidating at all.... After our chat, the last thing to do was a "fitness test."  Now, as I said before, I work out a lot.  I ran a half marathon two months ago.  I did two triathlons and countless 5ks last year.  A short fitness test should not be a problem. Or so I thought.  Rowing was easy, sit ups harder, push ups okay, and then the dreaded chin-ups.  The had a monster sized rubber band to help me with the chin-ups.  At first sight it appeared strong enough to help an elephant get over that bar.  I knocked out about 5 chin-ups until my arms were screaming at me and I needed help. I guess there is a reason that I have always played soccer- I have the upper body strength of a 5 year old.  I finished the last chin-ups with help- the 100-pound-soaking-wet Crossfit trainer supported me up over the bar.  Awesome.  Leaving the gym I felt good that these things as well had been out of my comfort zone.

Finally I went to get the results from the chiropractor for the stress test.  I am not sure what I expected, but I was surprised.  Evidently, my body has no problems reacting to stress.  It just never seems to calm back down. I am in an "Over Aroused" state all of the time, and don't know how to properly relax.  (And here that is what I thought Jose Cuervo was for.)  He said if we could get my body into alignment then my brain would work more efficiently, my nervous system would work better, and my knee, migraines, metabolism and stress level would all be better.

Great.  Now I have all of these options for changing my body, and changing my life.  Unfortunately, they all cost money.  Which is more important?  Muscle tone?  Stress level?  Fitness level?  Support?  As a stay-at-home-Mom I have a difficult time justifying spending money on myself.  Everything the kids do cost money.  Was I going to be able to commit do one or more of these things to help change my life and my body?

Right now I am still thinking about it.  In the meantime I signed the dog up for training classes. Instead of changing me I can work on changing him. Maybe he will be able to wear a bikini by summer.

Work before play......

33. Make a list of 10 people I know in my life that have inspired me

I hope everyone read about the first person out of the ten that have inspired me.  If not, scroll down and  check out the post "Need a little inspiration?"  I still have nine more to go, so I will be getting to them one by one, as I need reminders.

The second person in my life that has inspired me taught me a lesson about life that I have kept with me for almost twenty years now.  I feel pretty confident that she has no idea that she left this impression on me, but she did. Listen closely, because it is really important.  Lesson: Always finish your homework before you go out drinking.

Freshman year in college is about the craziest time in your life.  You have no rules, no restrictions, new friends, and no one to make you go to class.  You are surrounded by new people, and you create new friendships and new bonds.

The funny thing is, the best friends that you make you don't really pick yourself.  The people in the housing department pick them for you.  When you share a room, a hallway and a bathroom with people, you get really close to them really fast.  My freshman year in college the girls in our dorm became really close.

I had different things in common with different people- one liked soccer, one was from Georgia, one was a business major.  We hung out together, we went to the dining hall together, we went to parties together, and we went to the Esso Club together.

Now if you didn't go to Clemson, let me explain the Esso Club to you.  As the name suggests, it is an old Esso gas station converted into a bar.  Sounds fun, huh?  The floors were dirty, the bathrooms dirtier, and the air was full of smoke (because of course back then you could smoke indoors about everywhere.)  As I think back on it, I think the only thing even remotely attractive about the place was that they didn't enforce the legal drinking age there.

In Clemson (as I would imagine most other college towns) Thursday night was the true beginning of the weekend.  And freshman year, most Thursdays we started out at the Esso Club.  Sometimes people would back out of Thursday night because of an early Friday morning test, but I never did, and neither did my friend Tiffany.

Tiffany is like me in many ways.....she speaks her mind, she is sarcastic, she says what she means.  She was also very pretty, which made it fun to hang out with her in bars- we rarely paid for drinks, and there were always plenty of boys around.  There were at least a few times when Tiffany and I headed down to the Esso Club, just the two of us.  Now you have to imagine, none of us had cars there, and it was probably about a mile walk from our dorm to the Esso.  The two or more of us would get our "pre-party" on and head on down laughing the whole way.

Tiffany was very methodical about her college life though.  On a Thursday after class, she would come home and start her studying and her homework.  There were many times that I waited in her room with Julie for her to finish her homework so that we could go out.  We would not leave until the assignment was done, the quiz was studied for, or the notes were copied.  Tiffany's motto was clear- work hard at getting her school work done, and then (and only then) get your party on. 

I really admired her dedication to her schooling.  If I am not mistaken, she had an academic scholarship.  She later graduated with honors, and took a job with one of the big 5 (at the time) accounting firms. She went on to become a recruiter, and in the last few years started her own recruiting firm.  She also invented something really cool and sells it online and in stores all over the country.  She has also traveled to 6 out of the 7 continents with her husband.  Seems she still has the same theory- work hard and then play hard.

So, as silly as it seems, the lesson I learned from my friend all those years ago has stuck with me.  Get your "work" out of the way so you can enjoy your "play."  It is hard to have fun if you have unfinished business in the back of your mind creeping in.  I am trying hard to instill this in my kids as well, as I know that it will help them be successful later in life.

I guess I should go put the laundry away, so I can really ENJOY Desperate Housewives.

And in case you forgot the styles of 1990, here is the regular Thursday night crew...that is Tiffany in the middle row, all the way on the left.  I am sure all of these ladies will love me sharing this picture :)  I am also pretty sure that it must have been taken right before a game of "I never...."
              


 

Why I LOVE Facebook

31. Have lunch with an old friend and catch up

When I first got on Facebook I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was getting myself into.  I don't even remember why I got on it in the first place. I think it had something to do with collecting flair.  I became friends with people who I saw regularly in "real life."  We shared "drinks", "poked" each other, and played online games.  Then the craziest thing happened- I began finding people on Facebook that I hadn't seen in years.

A friend request from a college roommate......a high school teammate......a next door neighbor from second grade- they were all right there on my computer!  You couldn't pull me away from all these profiles.  My college roommate has kids that look just like her, my soccer teammate from high school still plays in the area, my neighbor from second grade married her high school sweetheart and has adorable kids.  You can learn so much about everyone, just from clicking the mouse.

So many of these "connections" were followed by email exchanges filled with what we had been doing for the last twenty years.  It was so fun to reconnect with people and find out what their lives had turned out like. These people are brought back into my life, and now people that I haven't seen in twenty years know on a daily basis who won my kids' soccer game, or where I had lunch.  I, in turn, know who has recently had a baby, or who now has a pie obsession (you know who you are :).  This big old world has gotten much smaller.

However, the biggest reason that I love Facebook, is that it reminds me so often of why I was friends with someone in the first place.  I remember the sense of humor that my friend Stephanie has.  I get to share in my friend Darby's photography talent.  I get to know some of these people a little bit deeper than I may have in the past.   And then when I find someone I know and love on Facebook, I can actually catch up to them in REAL LIFE.

My friend Chelle suggested I have lunch with an old friend as one thing on my bucket list.  Chelle, I am totally taking you personally up on that.  In the meantime I have caught up with others that I have once let slip out of my life.  Just yesterday I had coffee with 2 dear friends whose ten year olds were in the same infant playgroup with mine.  Last night I had an amazing dinner with one of my friends from Clemson who was in town for business.  If we hadn't reconnected on Facebook she never would have known where I lived and that she was going to be close to me.  Facebook has allowed me to coordinate reuinions that would not have been possible had I not "found" my friends online.  Some friends from college and I are doing the Warrior Dash together this year- brings me back to the "Scavenger Hunt" we all did back at Clemson, just 16 years later.

My friend that was in town, and my friends that are doing the Warrior Dash with me were all part of a special "club" at Clemson. I alluded to it when I posted a picture on Facebook last night.  Was anyone able to guess what it was??? I will put the pictures here, and see if you can figure it out....... FHB unite!!!

The original FHB Club............................

Eighteen years later...two of the "founding members :)  Any guesses?


And those of you who offered to help me out with some of my bucket list on Facebook realize that I am going to take you up on it.  Train to hike up Stone Mountain, prepare for that zipline.  Because if you don't show up, I am going to let everyone know on Facebook.

 And everyone you have known in the last 39 years will know about it :)

The first step is admitting you were wrong

35. List 10 times I was WAY wrong

When making my list I decided that part of reflecting on my last 39 years would include revisiting things that I was wrong about and realizing what I had learned from the experience.  It was way too easy to find times when I was wrong!  I am sure I could have made this list "40 times" and still had more to write about.

10 times I was WAY wrong

1. When I encouraged my son to suck his thumb because I thought it was hard for a baby to lose his thumb in the middle of the night.

Okay, breaking the paci habit sucked.  However, right now I have a 4 year old who shows NO SIGN whatsoever of stopping sucking his thumb.

Lesson learned: you can always remove a non-body part.  Sometimes the easy solution now is not easy in the long run.

2. When I thought I wanted to be a history major

I lasted one quarter at Clemson in a history class.  Not sure why I thought History was for me. I guess I thought it sounded good.

Lesson learned:  I excel in things that you can work through and get an answer to- not memorization of dates and facts.

3. When I thought that being prepared for a race one year meant that you were automatically prepared for it the next year

The first year I did the Irongirl I was SO over prepared that the race was easy. I did a full run through the weekend before.  The second year I remembered how easy it was, and I decided that I didn’t need to train nearly as much. The race was horrible.

Lesson learned: It is always better to be over prepared than underprepared.

4. When I thought that I knew better than the school at picking my kids’ teachers

We get so caught up in thinking that we know what is best for our kids that we want to control everything that involves them.  I have asked for teachers for all 3 of my kids that turned out to be good for them, but when their current teacher picked out their next teacher we have always been pleasantly surprised!

Lesson learned: Trust the professionals to do their jobs.  They actually know what they are doing.

5. When I thought I couldn’t possibly like “Gone with the Wind” because it was a classic.

I steered clear of this book forever, because most classics were boring to me.  I didn’t think I could possibly like this book because of all of the accolades.

Lesson learned: Old doesn’t necessarily mean boring.

6. When I took AP Turbo Pascal so it would help me with the up and coming age of computers

      Seriously???? Enough said.

7. When I was eager for Jack to be born already so that the pregnancy would be over.

I had preeclampsia with Jack and I was SO uncomfortable. My blood pressure was dangerously high, so I was happy and relieved when they decided to take him a week earlier than he was scheduled for.  Unfortunately, his lungs weren’t fully developed and he spent a couple of weeks in the NICU getting them ready for the outside world.

Lesson learned: Be patient.  God works at his own speed.

8. When I thought that E.T. would be the perfect movie for a 3 year old

Caroline was 3 when we decided to take her to an outdoor showing of E.T.  We thought she would love the experience.  Five minutes into the movie she was screaming terrified by the “alien.”  She is ten now and can’t even look at a picture of E.T. in a magazine without freaking out.

Lesson learned: Things that seem like little things to us can be big things to other people.  You may have impacted someone without even knowing it, and they may have long-lasting memories from it.

9. When I thought I knew what to expect with my second child, because we already had a girl.

When we found out Maggie was a girl I was so excited- I already knew how to do that!  However, once she started moving we realized that she was nothing like her sister.  She climbed, she got into everything, and her personality is totally different!

Lesson learned: Children are born with their own personalities.  You can encourage certain traits in them, but who they are is engrained from the start.

10. When I thought no one would read my blog anyway!

I have been so startled when I am out somewhere and people say to me, “I read your bucket list!”  I never thought that so many people would be interested in what I had to say. I am surprised, and humbled.

Lesson learned: Choose your words carefully; you never know who is listening.

A little spare time...

7.     Make a pillowcase for the Cancer center (http://www.conkerrcancer.org/)

My kid is awesome.  I mean, I know everyone thinks that, but mine really is. Really, I am not saying it is because of me- most times I think it is actually despite me. She constantly amazes me.

Two years ago at the Original Sewing and Quilting Show I was introduced to an organization call ConKerr Cancer.  They provide bright, cheerful pillowcases for children going through cancer treatments.  (For more information click on this link: http://www.conkerrcancer.org/ )  At the time I thought, what a great way to use the extra fabric in my stash. 

If you have never seen my fabric stash, you should be warned.  I am to fabric like an alcoholic is to an icy cold beer.  I can't resist, and I can't stop with just one (yard.)  I love to make things for my kids, and in my "estimation" of what I need, I am generally a yard or two over what I actually need.  I really didn't know the extent of my addiction until we moved a few years ago and I was forced to pack up my "stash."   I had more boxes of fabric than I had boxes of pots and pans.  But I digress.....

Making pillowcases for this organization has been in the back of my mind since I heard of them.  I have the fabric, but I never seemed to have the time.  When I made my bucket list I just knew that making these pillowcases had to be on this list.  But when to make the time?

If you are in Atlanta (or really anywhere in the Southeast) you know we are in the midst of "Snowmageddon 2011."   The kids have been out of school all week.  We have sledded.  We have built snowmen.  We drank hot cocoa.  We have opened and played with every game in our house.  What a great time to get started on these pillowcases!

I thought this would be the perfect project to start with my 10 year old daughter. She loves to sew.  I began teaching her to use my machine in first grade.  I called her down to the sewing room and she read about the organization on the website. She was very excited about helping.   We went through my stash and picked out great kid friendly fabrics and matched them up with coordinating band fabrics.  And we sat down to work.

The first pillowcase we made was made from "peace sign" fabric that my daughter and I bought on Black Friday. She picked it out at the store because she loved it.  We bought it to make something for her, but she wanted to use it to make a pillowcase instead. ("If I like it, I am sure someone my age will like it.")  I cut, she pinned.  She sewed, I serged.  We got into a groove, and knocked out 7 pillowcases. 

When we were done I asked her to go check what the others were doing.  She came back downstairs and said they were playing Rockband.  I said, "That sounds like fun."  She responded, "This is fun Mom, and it is more fun because we are helping people."

I had the best afternoon making memories with my child.  It is rare that I spend hours alone with just one of my children. Had we been doing anything together alone it would have been fun, but to know that she also "gets" helping others makes me a very proud mom. She has even asked to be included in the delivery of these pillowcases, and this will be another opportunity for just me and her.

Last night she spent the night with a friend.  When she came home today she said, "Maybe we can make some more pillowcases today."  I think she must have enjoyed the day as much as I did.  We made plans to go buy more fabric when the roads clear up, and make some more.

My child is kind and compassionate.  She is patient and sweet.  So many times I ask myself, "How did I get so lucky to have such a child?  What did I do to deserve her?"  Inevitably soon after that she will roll her eyes at me and yell at me "It's not fair!"  and I realize that she is a typical tween after all, and I am actually getting what I deserve.

The cat needs to get my tongue

36. Support someone in something I don’t believe in, just because I love them

Okay.  I will admit it. I am a very headstrong, opinionated person.  Many times my opinion is out of my mouth before I realize I haven't been asked for it.  (Okay, MOST times.)  This is something that ends up on my New Year's Resolutions every year without fail:  learn to think before you speak.

Since New Years I have had a few situations arise where #36 could come into play.  As I am trying to decide which situation to "choose" I am going through my head.  Can I possibly keep my mouth shut about how I really feel?  If I don't open my mouth is anyone in real "danger?"  Might my head explode trying to keep my thoughts in??

Then something occurred to me.  I could actually try supporting EVERYONE I love in what they are doing.  I mean, they are part of my life for a reason, right?  I obviously think they are capable of making decisions on their own.  If they ask I will give an opinion, if not asked, I will just be supportive. It will be a challenge, but one I am willing to face.

Here is my first example (and also one where I find out who is actually reading my blog :).  Names will be withheld to protect the "innocent."

Someone I love and their spouse are beginning potty training their first child.  Now, I am not an expert on potty training, but I have trained my three kids.  For me, waiting until they were ready was key.  I waited until my kids stayed dry during the night, and then spent about a week training each one.  Done.  Out of diapers and into underwear.  One week and out.  Ironically, all of them at the same age, about 2 years 8 months.

Back to my loved ones.  Their child is about 18 months old.  I personally think this is too young, but this is not my child, not my situation.  She has picked up other things well, and maybe she is ready for this challenge earlier than my kids were.  She walks around in regular underwear at home now, and they use pullups when they are out.  They are determined to train her, so I am determined to be supportive.

We saw them the other day at a birthday party.  Child in a pull up.  Mom goes to take child to the potty.  Trying to be supportive I ask Dad, "Is she peeing on the potty now?"  Dad answers, "Yes. And EVERYWHERE else." 

And as I burst into laughter, I decided this was not the situation where I was going to be able to pull off #36.  I guess I will keep looking and trying.

Need some inspiration?

33. Make a list of 10 people I know in my life that have inspired me

When I was making my list I thought it was important for me to reflect on the steps and people that helped shape the person I am today.  I wanted these to be real people in my real life.  People who may or may not even know that they left an impression on me.  I mean, Mother Teresa was great, but I feel pretty confident that she never had to deal with how to get 3 kids to take turns on "Wii Dance Party."  I needed people that I could learn from on a much smaller, closer to home scale.


Today my temper was kind of  short with my little people.  I thought I would look for someone who has inspired me as a parent.  Someone who could make me remember how lucky I am to have them.


This is the story of my friend Kari.  She inspires me for one reason.  She gets out of bed every morning. 

Long ago, before I had kids, I had a life.  I even held some jobs.  One of these jobs I kept part-time seasonally after I had kids.  This is where I met Kari.

Kari is great- she is funny, loud, and tells it like it is.  She is a good listener, and was a good manager.  After I stopped working for I always stopped to see her when I was at the mall.  My girls were little, and they LOVED that Miss Kari would rub yummy smelling lotion on their hands.

At one such visit Kari announced to me, "Guess what I did last weekend?  I got married!"

Upon further questioning I learned that her husband was in the Army, and was about to be deployed.  I thought back to my first year of marriage, and thought about how different hers was going to be.  We finished visiting and went on our way.

Next time I saw Kari she had another bombshell to drop on me (and to be honest, I don't remember if it was at the mall or somewhere else.  Sometime after the wedding she moved on to a different job.)  Her husband had come home on leave, and guess what, she was pregnant!  And as she put it, they don't do things the easy way- she was pregnant with twins, and hubby was back overseas.

Sometime during her pregnancy I met up with her to give her the maternity clothes that I didn't (THANK GOODNESS) need anymore.  She seemed to be doing so well- and looked better pregnant with twins than I did with Jack just a year or so before.  Not fair.

As life goes, I didn't run into her for a while.  I got an email with pictures of the boys when they were born (BEAUTIFUL, and right after the holidays, what a gift!)  I also ran into her at Publix when they were infants (if you can believe it, she was alone and I didn't get to see them.)  Her husband was back home, she was so happy being a mom, and you could tell it all agreed with her.

Several months later, I got a horrifying email from a mutual friend.  I actually just found it saved in my mail box.  Here it is word for word (with exception of the location.)

Miriam,

I have some unfortunate news. One of  Kari's twins Alexander passed away due to the RSV virus. The funeral is Friday at 1:00 at XXXX Church.

What????  I read it over and over again.  I cried.  I couldn't believe that this previously HEALTHY baby had died, and just DAYS before his first birthday. 

 More details came out- both twins were sick with RSV.  They were taken to the hospital together and Xander was on life support within a day. The other twin was fighting, and expected to make a full recovery.  I got another email- a picture of the surviving twin eating his 1st birthday cake, with breathing tubes in his nose, and blue and white icing on his face. Alone. Without his brother. 

Kari and her husband made a decision that I hope I would be strong enough to make if the situation arose.  They donated Xander's kidneys, so that someone else had a chance at life. Amazing.

Kari did something else that I am not sure I would be able to do.  She kept living.  She spoke to tv stations.  She spoke on the radio.  She sent emails to everyone she knew warning them of the signs and dangers of RSV.  She and her husband had another baby.  She again got through her being pregnant while her husband was overseas defending our freedom.  She had another boy.  And she keeps going.

Kari lives with a constant reminder of the son she lost- his identical twin.  She sees every day what he could have, and SHOULD have been doing.  And she gets out of bed- and she parents and enjoys her boys, and is thankful for the time that they had with their angel Xander.  I know that it is not always sunshine and roses for her.  She misses her son.  She hurts.  This year she had a balloon sendoff to heaven for her little boy's birthday.  She deals the best way she knows how.  She teaches me to love, cherish and enjoy my kids.

And I think it is AMAZING that she gets out of bed in the morning.

In Kari's honor here is her reminder:

Please, if you could take the time, tell all your friends and family with young kids (or a pregnant mama) about RSV. It has been considered an epidemic in Georgia since the third week of October. Sadly, not a thing has been reported about it on the news. So, it is up to us, my friends, to save our babies & kids!

Make sure everyone knows the signs/symptoms of RSV:

1. "Cold" symptoms that intensify
2. Lethargy
3. Worsening cough
4. Difficulty breathing (chest retracting)
5. Blue lips/skin (hypoxemia)

Thank you for your loving thoughts and prayers,
kari

It's a good thing I have 10 months!

24. Make it to the bus stop one day without raising my voice EVEN ONE TIME.

When I made my list last week I was afraid of having too many difficult things on it.  Some things would be easy (if I just make the time) and some take a lot of time and determination.  I wanted a good mixture so that I was sure I could get to all of them.

Who would have thought that the most difficult one so far is # 24???

  Over the last five years I have put measures in place to minimize the amount of things we can stress over in the morning.  We pick out our clothes at night.  We shower, check backpacks, sign agendas and fill out permission slips all at night. All that is left in the morning is to get dressed, eat breakfast and get to the bus stop by 7:26.  Not a minute later. 

The process is simple: wake at 6:40.  Breakfast starts by 6:44.  Finish breakfast by 7:00 (when the Today show opening music comes on) and go get dressed.  If it is a nice day, walk to the bus stop at 7:18.  If it is cold/rainy leave by 7:22.  That gives us 42 minutes to get from the bed to the bus stop.  In my mind, this should NOT be difficult.  What could there possibly be to yell about???

So, take this morning.  Alarm goes off, and I go to wake up Caroline. 

Me: "Time to get up."
Caroline: "No it's not!" 
Me: "It is 6:40." 
Caroline :"NO- it is only 5:40."

I look at her clock, and it says 5:40!  This sends me racing back to my room to look at my clock, which of course, reads 6:40.  I have to take her downstairs to show her the time on the news to convince her.  And by this time it is 6:44, and we are behind schedule. 

Breakfast is Pop-tarts (another proactive attempt against being late- what is not done in time can always be tucked into a backpack for later). As we hear the Today show coming on in the background the kids start to head upstairs, and I am relieved- we are back on schedule. 

Caroline: "Wait!!!! That is the guy with the good voice from YouTube!  I want to see him"
Maggie:  "Me too!!!"

So my eyes roll as they watch the formerly homeless guy with the golden pipes announce in the Today show. I am listening to the story of how they found this guy when I realize it is now 7:06!  Trying not to raise my voice, I calmly say "Girls.  Upstairs and dressed NOW."  Thank goodness we picked out clothes the night before.

Caroline comes back down 5 minutes later in her pjs.  "I need a permission slip to stay for play practice. And ASP money.  Maggie does too."

Ugh. Now not only are they behind, I am too.  I go upstairs to get paper to write on, and I pass Maggie's room- pants thrown ALL over the floor, and her nowhere in sight. 

Firm but still calm. "Maggie, what are you doing?" 
Maggie: "Finding my sneakers.  I have PE today." 
Me: "What happened to your room?"
Maggie: "The pants I picked out wouldn't snap."

Hmmmm...... Maybe I should have them try on their clothes before they go to bed at night?  Could this have saved us 5 minutes today?  As I get downstairs I look at the clock on the TV. 7:21  One minute!!!!

I call up the stairs, "Girls! We have to leave!" Technically I am not yelling, since they are upstairs and they have to hear me.  I hear Maggie crying.  They come running down the stairs, and I look at Maggie.  She has on jeans with holes in both knees, and no shoes. 

Now, for those who know her, she is a very slow growing child. She can still fit in everything she has owned since she was 4.  She is also the second girl in our family, so she owns enough clothes and shoes to dress a small village.  The fact that this is what this child has chosen to wear to school, and is BAREFOOT no less was enough to put me over the edge.

"MAGGIE ROSE- WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU HAVE ON????????"

I guess we will try for #24 again tomorrow.

(And as a P.S., her sneakers were found under her sink in her bathroom and were thrown into the car with her at 7:25.  She ran to the bus with one shoe on and one still in her hand.)

Getting started....

Kids back in school today.....great day to start attacking my list.  Let's start with the some easy things.

13.      Start a blog   Check!

34. Wear pajama jeans to the mall (which means I have to get some!)

                                got them ordered, but they won't ship until 1/21

24. Make it to the bus stop one day without raising my voice EVEN ONE TIME.

                              gave an effort, but not going to happen today!

12.       Get back to Lifetime at WW 

                              hmmmm.....to get back to Lifetime, that means I have to get back on the program.

  

Okay, I will admit it.  I have done Weight Watchers once or twice before with the intentions of getting back to my "goal weight." I have even tried it (HORROR!!!) on my own at home.  However, unless I go to the meetings and get on a scale in front of other people, it is just not going to happen.  I have too much pride to pay someone to weigh me and not have it go well.

Upon arriving it goes something like this:

Leader:  Good to see you!  Last time I saw you, you were  so close to goal.  I was sad you stopped coming.

Me: Yes, but I am here to get the rest of the weight off.

Leader: How is your baby? He must be walking by now.

Me: Um, yeah.  He starts Kindergarten in the fall.

Leader:  WOW!  It HAS been a while.

Okay, I get it. I gave up when I was close.  I mean, the thing is, I have kids!  I have a life!  I know that an apple is better for you than a brownie.  I just don't always care.

This time I will.  I will put down the brownie and walk away from it.  I will not eat zero point vegetable soup all day so that I can have beer and hot wings for dinner.  I will make this not a diet, but rather a lifestyle change.

I guess I am going to have to if I am ever going to do #5.

5.      Wear a bikini in public.  

 

My bucket list

Okay...so here it goes.  The list of 40 things that I want to do before I turn 40 in October.  Some are things I have always wanted to do.  Some are things I have been meaning to do but haven't gotten to.  Some are silly, some are altruistic.  But here they are, and I hope you enjoy my experiences trying to complete them all.  Please let me know if you want to be a part of any of them- it is always more fun to do things with friends!!!

40 Before 40

1.      Feed the homeless

2.    See Ruby Falls and Rock City

3.    Climb Stone Mountain

4.    Do Clemson tri with friends (Steph???)

5.    Wear a bikini in public

6.    After a negative experience with someone, find the positive in them and let them know what it is.

7.     Make a pillowcase for the Cancer center (http://www.conkerrcancer.org/)

8.    Get a mammogram (EVERY.DAMN.YEAR.)

9.    Apply for Survivor

10.Zumba with Darby

11.   Go on a group bike ride

12.  Get back to Lifetime at WW

13. Start a blog

14.  Compete in a race with the goal of placing, not just finishing.

15. Get my hair straightened.

16. Buy an expensive (over $100) pair of jeans

17.  Wear these jeans with high heels

18. Go horseback riding with Mary

19. Take the kids to a drive in

20. Visit at least 1 new city

21. Take the kids to a Clemson soccer game

22. Contribute to my IRA

23. Take my girls to the “Take your daughter to Clemson” weekend

24. Make it to the bus stop one day without raising my voice EVEN ONE TIME.

25. Pay the toll for the car behind me.

26. Build a house with Habitat.

27. Learn to knit- left handed

28. Eat a meal made up completely of food I have grown and/or caught.

29. Show up as mystery reader in costume (stolen idea from a FB friend)

30. Get a physical. (And not just the “girly” stuff)

31. Have lunch with an old friend and catch up (Thx Chelle!)

32. Take a clay class with Kelly

33. Make a list of 10 people I know in my life that have inspired me

34. Wear pajama jeans to the mall (which means I have to get some!)

35. List 10 times I was WAY wrong

36. Support someone in something I don’t believe in, just because I love them

37. Mardi Gras (why haven’t I thought of this before???)

38. Run down “The Hill”

39. Zip line in Georgia

40. Interview my parents about their youth, and capture it.

Top Ideas that did NOT make the list:

-Brazilian wax (sorry Terri, can’t imagine that ending well!)

-Ironman (holy cow- those things cost $250!!!)

-skydiving (again, a cost issue, or maybe it is just that I really WANT to see 40)

-sleep with Bret Michaels (it took him 16 years to propose to his baby-mama.  I would hate to ruin it for her.)

-spending the night on a beach/in a cave (done them)

-ice skate in Rockerfeller Center (this is going to have to be before I am 50, since I turn 40 before it will be set up this year)

-run a marathon (I will save that one for 41 J )

-hike the Appalachian Trail.  (wish I had the time….must wait for the kids to get older!)

First thing checked off the list....... #13 my blog!  Guess I should go order my pajama jeans.

Thanks for looking!

My first blog- picking a name

As many of you know, I have decided this year to make a bucket list of things I want to do before I am 40.  Some asked if I would post it, so I decided a blog was the way to go.  I found a blogging site and it asked me- "name of blog."

Hmmm......what name can I give this blog that will really speak to what I am trying to do with this bucket list? After thinking about what I actually wanted to accomplish, I had an idea.

Two years ago I wanted to challenge myself. At that point in my life, my body had already accomplished something amazing- it had produced three wonderful children. Our family was complete. Time for my body to move on and accomplish something else physically.  I decided the next challenge for me was to complete a triathlon.

Triathlons are governed by a body (USAT) that sets certain rules and guidelines for competition.  One of the rules is, you race in the age group for the age you are going to be on December 31st of that year.  They call this  "aging up." My first triathlon was in June 2009, which would make me 37 on the day of the race.  However, since on my birthday in October I would be 38, my age for competition was 38.  I got to the race and the "aged me up" to 38.  They wrote the number 38 on my calf with a sharpie.  For their purposes I was 38.

As the year turned to 2011, I realized this was the year I was going to be 40.  Even though during race season this year I will only be 39, I will get a big fat 40 on my calf because I will be 40 by the end of the year.  Is this fair?   Can they really just take away the last year of me being in my 30's?  I have a lot of things to do before I turn 40!

I have things that I have been meaning to do, but I just haven't gotten to yet.  I have things that I didn't know I wanted to do until people suggested them to me.  I have things that I need to do to make me a better person.  All of these things can be done now. BEFORE I turn 40.  I am not ready to age up yet.

How many things do we miss when we are looking past them to the next milestone?  All of us remember waiting anxiously for our kids to say their first words- and in doing so, we didn't appreciate how little time there is when a child and their parent can communicate solely through looks and gestures. How many times have we been so anxious for a holiday that we miss all the lights, feelings and nuances leading up to the holiday itself? 

This milestone I will reach in time.  I will appreciate all of the days and events leading up to it.  They can write the 40 on my calf, but I know in my heart I will NOT be 40 until the calendar says so.  In my life, I will not age up.

Look for my bucket list to be posted shortly.  I appreciate all of the ideas and feedback that I have gotten in making it.  And if you are reading my first blog, I think you know what the first thing I will check off my list is :)