5. Wear a bikini in public
It has been years since I have worn a bikini. The last time I did I was a twenty-something. I consider myself a pretty fit person, but bikini ready, I am not. I am at the point right now where my body is used to the workouts I do, and working out the way I have been for the last several years just aren't going to change my body.
That being said, last week I decided to look for a new way to change it. I scheduled several different "new" things that I hoped would shock my body into changing. Something different every day, all designed to push me out of my comfort zone and into a state of change.
The first thing I did was to have a consultation with a Sports Medicine Chiropractor. I made this appointment for a Monday, forgetting that MLK day means the kids are coming with me. Fabulous. I was hoping he could help clear up some knee issues I had, allowing me to work out more without pain. Little did I know how many other "issues" I had!
I got to the office and he briefly went over how he was going to run a stress test on me, and see how my body reacted. Once we found out how aligned or misaligned my body was, then we could start repairing it, and make it work more efficiently. His assistant and intern would work on getting me hooked up for the test.
Now, I don't know what I was expecting, but this equipment looked like the most complex lie detector test I had ever seen. Sensors on each hand, each shoulder, both earlobes, scalp, and heart rate monitor were all hooked up by the intern. The scalp sensor alone took about 5 different tries- the last one of which I thought he was going to push the thing straight through my brain trying to get it on. Not sure if this was part of the "stress test" or not, but I know at that point my heart rate was up!
Once everything was hooked up there were a variety of "tests" during which all of my body's reactions were recorded. The first one was to subtract backwards from 500 by sevens each time a recorded voice yelled "NOW!" Every 3 seconds for 90 seconds he yelled at me while I tried to do the math in my head. Wouldn't 2s have been much easier??? Then a 90 second close your eyes and relax time (during which I could hear Maggie and Jack in the waiting room fighting over a plastic snake.) More stress situations, more relax time. The theory is, if your body is working well it will calm itself back down during the rest times. One of the last tests was a 3 minute breathing and relax time. Got done, a few more physical tests, then schedule a time to come back and read the testing results. Great! Come back on Thursday.
Day 2 of moving out of my comfort zone I met my friend Lucy to work out with her personal trainer. Now I have been going to the same gym for 5 years. I work out A LOT. I have seen this trainer in the gym on a daily basis and have never seen anyone cry while working out with him. We start "warming up" and I think I might be the first. I learn that he was a marine, and he is going to stand over me counting to make sure that I don't miss a rep. Subconsciously I sucked in my belly the whole time. Since he had about 0% body fat I was a little bit self conscious about mine. I used more muscles in that 30 minute workout than I do in 2 hours on my own. During the workout he said something that stuck-"Going out of your comfort zone is the only way to change. Pain is just weakness leaving your body." It was a good workout, and I could see why people pay money for a trainer.
Day three I agreed to meet up with a new friend to try Crossfit. After working with the trainer, how hard could it be??? Famous last words.
We went over expectations, we went over what the plan was. The support that comes with the program seemed great. Exercises seemed doable. Not scared yet :) As we were talking some of the members started filing in ready for the next class. The first guy looked like a cross between Arnold Schwartenegger and someone from Miami Ink. Not intimidating at all.... After our chat, the last thing to do was a "fitness test." Now, as I said before, I work out a lot. I ran a half marathon two months ago. I did two triathlons and countless 5ks last year. A short fitness test should not be a problem. Or so I thought. Rowing was easy, sit ups harder, push ups okay, and then the dreaded chin-ups. The had a monster sized rubber band to help me with the chin-ups. At first sight it appeared strong enough to help an elephant get over that bar. I knocked out about 5 chin-ups until my arms were screaming at me and I needed help. I guess there is a reason that I have always played soccer- I have the upper body strength of a 5 year old. I finished the last chin-ups with help- the 100-pound-soaking-wet Crossfit trainer supported me up over the bar. Awesome. Leaving the gym I felt good that these things as well had been out of my comfort zone.
Finally I went to get the results from the chiropractor for the stress test. I am not sure what I expected, but I was surprised. Evidently, my body has no problems reacting to stress. It just never seems to calm back down. I am in an "Over Aroused" state all of the time, and don't know how to properly relax. (And here that is what I thought Jose Cuervo was for.) He said if we could get my body into alignment then my brain would work more efficiently, my nervous system would work better, and my knee, migraines, metabolism and stress level would all be better.
Great. Now I have all of these options for changing my body, and changing my life. Unfortunately, they all cost money. Which is more important? Muscle tone? Stress level? Fitness level? Support? As a stay-at-home-Mom I have a difficult time justifying spending money on myself. Everything the kids do cost money. Was I going to be able to commit do one or more of these things to help change my life and my body?
Right now I am still thinking about it. In the meantime I signed the dog up for training classes. Instead of changing me I can work on changing him. Maybe he will be able to wear a bikini by summer.
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